Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
