It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
