My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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