nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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