he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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