Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize
