oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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