dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
People in love make me want to vomit
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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