He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
