I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
