Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
