I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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