I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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