Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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