guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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