States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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