no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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