dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize