So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
