Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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