Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
