I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
