why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
