Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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