He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
