Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
