whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
