I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
