i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
