she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
