Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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