we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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