I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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