I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
