I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize