My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
