do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
