he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
