david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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