The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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