I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
