He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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