Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
