Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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