i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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