Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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