Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
