I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
