I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
