So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
