the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
