your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
