I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
