I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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