I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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