Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
