So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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