he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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