The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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