cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
