I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
