dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
this just has baby written all over it
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
