it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
