Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
