SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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