i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
