I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
