things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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